It’s ok to not be ok
Mental health matters! I have struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my life. Thankfully my symptoms are generally pretty mild and can be handled with a lot of “mind over matter”.
I know that it’s not so easy for a lot of people, and I am not an expert and I only speak for myself.
Moving takes it toll
I am a homebody. My home is my happy place. I like having a routine, and being comfortable. That doesn’t mean I don’t like going out or doing new things, I’m just happiest when I can be at home, in my comfy clothes watching my favourite movies or TV shows. Rewatching TV shows and movies and actually lower my anxiety.
When the “big move” came about, my entire world was thrust upside down! I spent months, cleaning, organizing, sorting and giving stuff away. My home was now filled with boxes of stuff to be packed and stuff already packed. It was chaos. I felt like my life was not my own and I was struggling. It really didn’t help that my husband had to move 2 months before I did. I felt like I was doing it all on my own, which wasn’t true, but that’s what it felt like.
Moving is never easy. It doesn’t matter how close or far or how much stuff you have, it’s always hard. Moving countries is crazy hard. Shipping everything you own to an island and hoping it gets there in one piece is probably the most difficult thing I have ever done.
And it wasn’t just my stuff, doing all the work to ensure I could move my pets down was honestly so stressful! Thankfully my dog and cats where so amazing on the plane and got to their home and settled in quickly.
For someone who is a homebody, sitting in my empty house, alone, without any of my stuff was enough to send me into multiple breakdowns each day!
How did I cope?
I’m not sure how I got through everything, but I did it! First thing I did was learn not to suppress the sadness. I realized that having the breakdowns helped me get to the next piece. Hiding the feeling never really helped, they just made me feel worse. Allowing yourself to having your bad moments, mean acknowledging your feelings, accepting them and then moving forward.
After each little breakdown, I felt stronger and was able to accomplish each task before me. I also had to learn to be more honest with my husband. This was hard on both of us. We were doing this huge move together but separate. We knew there was an “end” but it was hard to see that each day, each step got us one day closer.
I think it’s also important to recognize that you wont always be ok. Nothing in life with be perfect and every situation will be different.
Family and friends don’t always help
Lot’s of people will turn to their friends and family for help when times get tough, and yes, I highly encourage that, but it’s important to realize that they can’t and don’t always help.
I had lot’s of help for the moving prep but no one could truly understand what I was going through. My entire life was going to be different. Every moment would be new. I had to give up the jobs I loved, my daily activities, all the food places I ate it and so much more.
During all of this I had lot’s of people say “I can’t wait to visit”, “but you will be in the Cayman Islands!”, “oh ya, moving sucks but I don’t feel sorry for you”, and many more comments like that. That did not help. I felt like I became a joke. Like I couldn’t be stressed because I was going to be living on a Caribbean island. All of that just added to my stress and made me feel like I couldn’t be honest with anyone.
I am very thankful to the friends who check in on me regularly since my move. It means a lot to me to me that even though I’m so far away, I’m still part of the group!
You don’t owe anyone anything!
Just remember, that no matter what anyone says, you don’t have to do things a certain way. You don’t need to explain anything to anyone that you don’t want to.
Everyone copes with things differently and that is no different than dealing with mental health. Just remember to be honest with yourself. There is no shame in taking time for yourself and getting any help you may need.
